the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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