Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my sisters under your porch take her home
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
