i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize