she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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