hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize