one two three fourrrrnication!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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