I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
