Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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