His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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