Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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