just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
