I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
love makes seman taste better
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
