does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
