I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
