just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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