PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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