Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize