Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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