I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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