last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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