I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we made out on top of his cat.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
