is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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