please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize