you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
