I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
birth control should be required to get into college
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
