So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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