you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
