The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
