some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
