Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Randomize
