you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
