i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Is it penis luge time yet?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
