Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
