I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
