he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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