I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize