I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
