i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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