She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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