Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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