i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
