I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
