"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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