I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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