yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
