dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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