Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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