apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
