Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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