I'm really into asian looking animals
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
did i walk over a car last night?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
