would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
