Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize