Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
