11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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