Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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