Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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