Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
