How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
