I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize