Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
