The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I supernannyed him into submission
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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