Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize