I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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