you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize